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| Wednesday, July 05, 2006 |
| Pet Peeve of the Week - Big Houses and Nursing Homes |
Why on earth do I lump McMansions and nursing homes together? Because I think they're responsible for changes in our culture that have led to my latest peeve: inconsideration.
Don't you hate encountering people who are oblivious to those around them? I'm talking about idiots who get off an elevator or escalator and just stand there, blocking traffic. I'm talking about morons who think they're driving the only car in existence - frequently taking up two lanes or two parking spaces. I'm talking about people who empty their cart at the grocery store and can't be bothered to return it to the cart corrals. I'm talking about people who talk loudly on cell phones in public places. I'm talking about people who crank up the volume on their iPod so high that the rest of the world can hear the music as it comes through their skulls.
These are all inconsiderate people.
So, I hear you cry, where do big houses and nursing homes come into it? The prevalence of those structures has permitted too many of us to avoid interacting with anyone. If that goes on long enough, we become unable to conduct ourselves properly in society.
All of us, adults as well as children, used to be crowded together, often with three or four generations sharing living space. There was no "me generation". There couldn't be, because we all had to get along. (We couldn't afford NOT living together because we lived within our means, but that's another rant, for another week.) We had to learn to deal with other people, to compromise, to communicate. To be considerate. To care for each other.
Grandma or Grandpa didn't move off to a retirement residence, to then be shunted into a nursing home, and go from there to a funeral home. Nope, they were part of the family, always present, contributing irritable demands and amusing stories if nothing else. Children didn't have the luxury of retiring to their unshared rooms, complete with their own computer, phone and full media center. No one hid by plugging into an iPod or a mobile phone headset, avoiding conversation and interaction.
Oh, and too many parents have bought into the crap about the importance of their child's self-esteem. One can't criticize the little miscreants because it might stunt their self-esteem. Well, not knocking that out-of-control ego into proper proportion creates bullies and unrealistic expectations of life. Not every high school graduate is going to find a job starting at $30 an hour, let alone become Bill Gates. Not every high school dropout is going to make it as a hip-hop star. Letting them believe that is a grave disservice to them.
My self-esteem is quite healthy, thank you very much, and I got spanked the few times I needed it. So's the self-esteem of Mistah Midnight, and his mother was - still is - a crack shot with a fly swatter. Those metal mesh flaps really got the message across to a bare leg. I imagine today's plastic models sting just as much.
When we rattle around in big houses and are tended by strangers in nursing homes, we don't grow up learning the right things to do. Respect for our elders isn't part of our daily lives, because we don't see our elders every day. Hell, some parents and children living in the same house don't see each other every day! What's up with that?
When I hear or read a news story about a family where a child commits a serious crime, the parents are often genuinely horrified and confused. They're successful people, these parents. They have good jobs, they make good money, they give their kids everything they want - everything they didn't have when they were growing up. How on earth did it happen? You can tell from the interviews that they don't really know their own children, who their friends are, what they do all day. They don't communicate. That's tragic.
My theory is that most of these people live in big houses, with a full entertainment suite in every huge bedroom. And their grand-parents aren't there, either. Sometimes it takes a grandmother with a fly swatter to set a kid straight. |
posted by Liddy Midnight @ 5:53 PM  |
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| 3 Comments: |
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Awww Liddy, there was a news report on the radio yesterday while I did the ironing (I do that occasionally when not glued to my desk chair!) about these watchdog types who visited old people's homes in our area.
I was horrified to hear that they witnessed the elderly being punched, kicked (feel sick writing this) and one man was strapped to his bed or wheelchair for 16 hours each day.
Obviously there is going to be an enquiry into all nursing homes in the UK now.
This made me want to cry. These folks were kiddies once, ran round the fields laughing with their friends, cried to mommy when they scraped their leg. Were independent human beings who had loves and wants, (bugger, tears have started!) and are being treated like shit (sorry for language) by other human beings who are meant to be doing that job because they WANT to care for elderly people, not beat them up.
Aww this world stinks and I wanted to go to the home in question and hug those old people. They may be old, but in their mind they still get scared, still feel like a kid sometimes. Imagine whacking an old guy round the face and walking away feeling your frustration at him pissing his pants seep from your bones.
Then imagine the old guy, holding back the tears, feeling humiliated that he even pissed his pants, and then got a crack round the face for it. That his life hasn't gone the way he envisioned, stuck in a home where people hit on him. Man, it makes me so angry.
Reminded me of when my dear nan was dying. We went to visit her in hospital and she hadn't been covered up with a sheet and her nightshirt had ridden up, exposing..you know, and NO ONE gave a shit. Visitors were walking through the ward with my poor nanny like that. When she saw us coming she tried to push her nightshirt down, really frantic she was, and it just about broke my heart.
Nasty evilness resides in some minds, and to strike an old person or treat them cruelly is digraceful. One day, pray to God, we'll all be old. I bet the orderlies don't think of the position being switched onto them, do they.
Sorry for rant. It kind of stoked my inner fires.
:o)
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I know exactly what you mean, and that's one reason I think we should all keep our elderly at home with us. Yes, it will fray nerves and strain schedules, but who better to care for them than those they once cared for? Most of us will have to feel our way as we learn, but then, most new parents do, too.
Gee, those big houses could hold a lot more people in comfort than they do. We've interrupted the circle of life, and the bill will come due one of these days. The news story you saw may be the first knock at the door.
Feel free to rant here any time! Isn't that what blogs are for? To make people think as well as to entertain?
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I have great parents. My dad was a big man who'd tan my ass when I got out of line, which wasn't often. And I have a grandma who likes those flyswatters too! Nursing homes and such are such horrifying places... My mother worked in one for a couple years. Said she'd never do it again.
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Awww Liddy, there was a news report on the radio yesterday while I did the ironing (I do that occasionally when not glued to my desk chair!) about these watchdog types who visited old people's homes in our area.
I was horrified to hear that they witnessed the elderly being punched, kicked (feel sick writing this) and one man was strapped to his bed or wheelchair for 16 hours each day.
Obviously there is going to be an enquiry into all nursing homes in the UK now.
This made me want to cry. These folks were kiddies once, ran round the fields laughing with their friends, cried to mommy when they scraped their leg. Were independent human beings who had loves and wants, (bugger, tears have started!) and are being treated like shit (sorry for language) by other human beings who are meant to be doing that job because they WANT to care for elderly people, not beat them up.
Aww this world stinks and I wanted to go to the home in question and hug those old people. They may be old, but in their mind they still get scared, still feel like a kid sometimes. Imagine whacking an old guy round the face and walking away feeling your frustration at him pissing his pants seep from your bones.
Then imagine the old guy, holding back the tears, feeling humiliated that he even pissed his pants, and then got a crack round the face for it. That his life hasn't gone the way he envisioned, stuck in a home where people hit on him. Man, it makes me so angry.
Reminded me of when my dear nan was dying. We went to visit her in hospital and she hadn't been covered up with a sheet and her nightshirt had ridden up, exposing..you know, and NO ONE gave a shit. Visitors were walking through the ward with my poor nanny like that. When she saw us coming she tried to push her nightshirt down, really frantic she was, and it just about broke my heart.
Nasty evilness resides in some minds, and to strike an old person or treat them cruelly is digraceful. One day, pray to God, we'll all be old. I bet the orderlies don't think of the position being switched onto them, do they.
Sorry for rant. It kind of stoked my inner fires.
:o)