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Tuesday, July 24, 2007
For the love of Mike!
I admitted already that I'm addicted to those housecleaning and decluttering shows. I also recently acquired a new passion and am willing to 'fess up to a longer-term additional passion.

The Mikes have me hooked.

That would be Mike Rowe ('Dirty Jobs') and Mike Holmes ('Holmes on Homes').

Are you looking for entertainment? How about watching a man who'll try any job, anything at all, no matter how dirty? And does it all with a smile and a wisecrack. As if that isn't enough, that boy's in shape! He has to be, to wrangle crocodiles and help pull multi-ton blocks of marble out of a mountain.

Now that's sexy. Not only is he good-looking in a very all-American, outdoorsy way, he's a keeper. You know you'll never have to nag him about taking out the trash. After what he does for a living, that's literally a walk in the park! Sure beats crawling through vintage San Francisco sewers or ripping rotting vegetation off old parade floats. The dirtier he gets, the better he looks. It's not just me, either. A number of my sister authors in the Cave (as in Ellora's Cave, my publisher) are also smitten with Mike Rowe. And he's everywhere! He's the narrator for 'Deadliest Catch' and I swear I've heard his voice on a few commercials. Obviously, a man in demand.

Now how about a guy - no, a man, because Mike Holmes has a presence that screams, "Don't mess with me!" - who can tackle any construction-project-gone-wrong with experience, knowledge, and an eye for design? He can come fix my house any time. Just watching him shake his head over some shmuck's pitiful efforts at code compliance before he rips something apart makes my little heart go pit-a-pat. As for his physique, whew! Serious hottie there. Swinging a sledge and moving joists and other substantial building materials around tends to do that to a fellow.

This is one reason I call Mistah Midnight "my little joist monkey". LOL He looked so cute balancing on floor joists, replacing our bathroom plumbing. Of course, let me point out that Mistah Midnight doesn't screw up our home improvement projects. That's because of my role, which is keeping Murphy at bay. When I'm involved with a project, things go smoothly. Of course, this means I get nothing done for myself while Mistah Midnight is in construction mode. I'm no girly-girl, either, being a mean hand with a pipe cutter and a propane torch.

During what I jokingly call our "20-year flip" I've learned to cut and solder pipe (plus I learned to torch-cut and arc weld during our infamous audition video for Junkyard Wars!), wire a 3-way switch, and mix concrete. I also do all the painting. I'm now dying to try the suede paint that Mike H. chose for the basement pub show that aired this week. ::pout:: We need a bigger house. ::brightening:: Oh, wait, we're working on that. ::rubbing hands in anticipation:: That show is inspiring.

If you're looking for some fine entertainment, tune in to either Mike or Mike and watch as they dig, clean, demolish or wrestle their various projects of the week. Ever wonder where ostrich eggs come from, the ones that hotel chefs to turn into HUGE (and expensive) omelets? Want to see how your contractor was supposed to do that brick work?

Great eye candy and you'll learn a few things.

Now that's entertainment.

posted by Liddy Midnight @ 5:44 PM   0 comments
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
On housekeeping and clutter--and househunting
We’re house hunting. Man, over the past few weeks I have seen some really, er, interesting houses. That’s being kind.

Doesn’t anyone who wants to sell their house watch any of those shows on D-I-Y, A&E, Style and HGTV? You don’t have to put everything away and make the place look like it’s a museum or no one lives there, but for crying out loud, clean up the dirty dishes and put away the junk mail.

I’ve decided our house will be shown empty. LOL I’ve got too much stuff, which is why we have to move. You know, if you only accumulate a bit of stuff each year, after 21 years the place is chock full of it! We haven’t reached the state of affairs that would warrant Niecy Nash and her crew coming in to save us or the Clean Sweep team’s attentions, but there is too much stuff for our tiny house. Since I started writing seriously, Smut Central, or my writing room, has gotten crammed to the rafters with promotional stuff, reference books, jewelry findings and beads (although I don’t complain about that!). For some reason my mending and sewing/crafts projects also get shoved in there.

I have to admit that I’m addicted to those “clean up your house” and “get organized” shows. I LOVE seeing how messy other people are and how the experts bring order out of chaos. First of all, it makes me feel virtuous about my much-less-severe mess. Second, I get ideas for making my mess better. One of these days, maybe when we move, I’m going to put all of that into practice and we’ll finally live in a house that’s comfortable, organized and workable. (Our house was too small even before we started another business.)

Why haven’t I organized our stuff here? Good question. I do ask myself that at times.

I have implemented some of those solutions, but the problem is that of fitting a quart into a pint bottle. Where do you put the stuff to get it out of the way while you’re erecting more shelving or getting the other stuff organized? I have yet to see a show on that problem. They spread it out over the yard, but our yard is still a construction zone. No room there! LOL The kitchen closet doesn’t exist yet, and right now the powder room is in process. (That’s a real engineery-sounding term, isn’t it? And it means there is nothing in there but walls and a workman, i.e., Mistah Midnight. The rest of the stuff - compound mitre saw, table saw, cabinets, commode, sink and pedestal, are spread out over the front porch, the patio, the lawn and the garage.)

One of these days, I’ll have a house that’s finished, where I can take my accumulated clutter and spread it out on the lawn — or front porch or patio — and get it organized. Until then, I laugh merrily at others who have slipped further down that slope into catastrophic clutter (anyone remember Langley Collier and his brother?) and count my blessings. We’re not winding our way along narrow paths between boxes and mountains of clothing and too many shoes. Yet.

posted by Liddy Midnight @ 3:24 PM   1 comments

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